yes, i almost used my actual name for that title on accident. although i'm pretty sure that the only people who read this know who writes it, i still prefer to remain anonymous simple because i want to invite other people to get to know me without knowing who is really writting. by the way, if anyone aside from my two "fav bloggers" off to the side reads this, feel free to holla at me, i'd love to know who's reading.
i've been trying to get my shit together (hence the title). i've wanted to lose some weight for a while, and so i went to the mall and bought some "running" shoes (i'm still not really sure if they're meant for running, but they work damn well for it). so far, i've been running every day, except for the weekend, and i don't anticipate running tomorrow since i'm gonna be golfing and i don't wanna be sore for that. i'm liking the running thing. normally, i suck at running because it makes my asthma go crazy, and that's not gonna go away any time fast. but i'm pushing myself, and i hope to be able to running three miles at a decent pace by the end of the summer. i also hope to drop two inches (at least) from my waistline (i have give up on losing weight since i am destined to be a big guy, so i'm just trying to get skinnier and gain muscle...again).
my next goal is to start practicing my music for at least an hour a day again. during the school year i usually practice 2+ hours, but i'm gonna start with one hour which honestly will never be near where i stop; once you get going with the music you just gotta keep on going. i have been practicing my music, but not nearly as much as i should. my goal is to get an early start now and get comfortable with my music for my senior recital (which is 40 minutes worth of music).
so, to recap, i get home from work at about 2:30 in the afternoon. i run for half an hour, then i'll shower, practice for an hour (or more) eat dinner and i have time in the evening to hang with friends. the problem with the friends thing is that some different hours then me (ok, the vast majority work different hours then me, since no one likes going to work at 6 am). i really want to spend some quality time with the guys (and girls) but sometimes it's difficult. i'm also craving a party sometime real soon.
oh, and yeah, i got a venus flytrap today. i've named it furious george.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
sad songs and waltzes aren't selling this year
so, i know it's been a while (as most of the people whose blogs i actually read have been seeming to say lately). summer has been fun so far, but it's been crazy busy, so much so that i barely have time to catch my breath. so far i've hung out with friends, played a few rounds of golf, tuned most of my drum set to what i want it at, and just in general been running around like a 6th grader. that coupled with the fact that i have to share my families computer with my sisters makes it difficult for me to sit down and vent to you lovely people.
sorry to start off a blog on a depressing note, but it this is the reason why i'm hear anyway, so i don't care. the other day i was at work (as a maintenance worker at a local golf course) when my boss asked if it would be ok for me to be bumped up from my regular position of odd jobs (which pays about $10 an hour) to mow some of the course for a day (which pays about $15 an hour, this is a position i am qualified for but have not been permanently promoted to because of my status as a college student and the months that i am not at work because i'm too busy studying). obviously i accepted, and the day consisted of me driving around the edges of the golf course on a rather clumsy mower and listening to such musical geniuses as cake, alkaline trio, and death cab for cutie (7 albums covered the day for me).
as i was mowing along, i started to think of my present girlfriend. i like her, but i'm not sure if i can fulfill what she needs. she calls me and i'm busy or asleep or something. in fact i think we've only had 2 conversations on the phone since we left school. she was in town last tuesday, staying for a night in a hotel so that she could catch a plane for where she's going to be working for the summer (veeery far away, that's all i'll i need to say). we met, got some dinner, walked around the mall for a while, which was nice, but at one point she made a statement that i should come visit her sometime this summer. i don't know if she was joking or not...but i laughed. it would cost a lot for me to go out there (which i don't think she realizes all to well) and we haven't been together long enough for me to feel obligated to do so. i had pretty much already made up my mind before she had even asked: no, i will not visit her as long as she is further than a 3 hour drive from me, which i don't think is all that unreasonable.
all in all, the issue i wanted to bring up is that i don't know if i am who she wants (or needs) me to be. she's fairly clingy, which is fine, but i don't want her to fell lonely or anything just because of me. however, one of my new policies is to not assume that i know what is best for others. maybe she's not crushed when i don't answer my phone (in fact, in all likelihood she isn't, but i like to exaggerate). the best i can do is hang in, and if she really has a problem with our situation, she can discuss it with me (and hope that she doesn't stumble across this blog).
i also got a chance to think about my previous relationship before this one and how i screwed it up. i was talking with my pal gringo while he was visiting my school about this relationship and said that i could not recall the real reason that we broke up (well, i know why i made the final call; she pushed me while we were having an argument, and any violence however small should not be tolerated in a relationship). gringo, in his very sage-like way, said that even though i don't remember the reason, there was a reason there when we broke up.
i think i have realized the real reason, though: i was only half-committed to the relationship. she was a rebound, no matter how much i didn't want her to be. the summer before i came to college, i broke up with the girl i had been together for over 2 years. she had found someone else and didn't want to admit it, so i made the call and broke up with her. 2 weeks later, she had already slept with the other guy. but i figured there's plenty of fish in the sea, and that's what college is for anyway: drinking and getting laid (completely forgetting that i am not the one-night-stand kinda guy). i went off to college, and after many failed attempts at finding a girl, i found one in february. she was just as nerdy as me, mostly into good music, and very attractive. now i can look back and see that i was always comparing her to my high school relationship, that i just went along with it when she said that we should stay together through the summer, and that i didn't really respect her as much as i should have. this is why i was so ready to break up with her; i was never really attached. it's taking me about a year and a half to realize that i was happier with her than i really believed, and if i had just gotten over my high school relationship sooner i maybe could have stayed with something good.
i just hope i'm not setting myself up for more disasters. i'll post more when i can.
sorry to start off a blog on a depressing note, but it this is the reason why i'm hear anyway, so i don't care. the other day i was at work (as a maintenance worker at a local golf course) when my boss asked if it would be ok for me to be bumped up from my regular position of odd jobs (which pays about $10 an hour) to mow some of the course for a day (which pays about $15 an hour, this is a position i am qualified for but have not been permanently promoted to because of my status as a college student and the months that i am not at work because i'm too busy studying). obviously i accepted, and the day consisted of me driving around the edges of the golf course on a rather clumsy mower and listening to such musical geniuses as cake, alkaline trio, and death cab for cutie (7 albums covered the day for me).
as i was mowing along, i started to think of my present girlfriend. i like her, but i'm not sure if i can fulfill what she needs. she calls me and i'm busy or asleep or something. in fact i think we've only had 2 conversations on the phone since we left school. she was in town last tuesday, staying for a night in a hotel so that she could catch a plane for where she's going to be working for the summer (veeery far away, that's all i'll i need to say). we met, got some dinner, walked around the mall for a while, which was nice, but at one point she made a statement that i should come visit her sometime this summer. i don't know if she was joking or not...but i laughed. it would cost a lot for me to go out there (which i don't think she realizes all to well) and we haven't been together long enough for me to feel obligated to do so. i had pretty much already made up my mind before she had even asked: no, i will not visit her as long as she is further than a 3 hour drive from me, which i don't think is all that unreasonable.
all in all, the issue i wanted to bring up is that i don't know if i am who she wants (or needs) me to be. she's fairly clingy, which is fine, but i don't want her to fell lonely or anything just because of me. however, one of my new policies is to not assume that i know what is best for others. maybe she's not crushed when i don't answer my phone (in fact, in all likelihood she isn't, but i like to exaggerate). the best i can do is hang in, and if she really has a problem with our situation, she can discuss it with me (and hope that she doesn't stumble across this blog).
i also got a chance to think about my previous relationship before this one and how i screwed it up. i was talking with my pal gringo while he was visiting my school about this relationship and said that i could not recall the real reason that we broke up (well, i know why i made the final call; she pushed me while we were having an argument, and any violence however small should not be tolerated in a relationship). gringo, in his very sage-like way, said that even though i don't remember the reason, there was a reason there when we broke up.
i think i have realized the real reason, though: i was only half-committed to the relationship. she was a rebound, no matter how much i didn't want her to be. the summer before i came to college, i broke up with the girl i had been together for over 2 years. she had found someone else and didn't want to admit it, so i made the call and broke up with her. 2 weeks later, she had already slept with the other guy. but i figured there's plenty of fish in the sea, and that's what college is for anyway: drinking and getting laid (completely forgetting that i am not the one-night-stand kinda guy). i went off to college, and after many failed attempts at finding a girl, i found one in february. she was just as nerdy as me, mostly into good music, and very attractive. now i can look back and see that i was always comparing her to my high school relationship, that i just went along with it when she said that we should stay together through the summer, and that i didn't really respect her as much as i should have. this is why i was so ready to break up with her; i was never really attached. it's taking me about a year and a half to realize that i was happier with her than i really believed, and if i had just gotten over my high school relationship sooner i maybe could have stayed with something good.
i just hope i'm not setting myself up for more disasters. i'll post more when i can.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
